Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Positive Reinforcement....and a Challenge

So I have been really cranky lately.

Well, crankier than usual.

Luckily enough for everyone who has to deal with me on a daily basis, I found this pattern (well, part of a pattern) and decided to hang it over my bathroom mirror.  Sometimes a fella just needs something to make him feel a little bit better in the morning...

The original was in pink and yellow, but I decided to change it to match my towels,  (Plus, I come off girly enough that I really don't need something pink in my bathroom.)

I'm actually really happy with it, and it seems to do the trick.

Now here's the challenge...  It is actually from a much bigger pattern:

You really can't see all of it because of the limited capabilities of my camera.  Anyways, it says stuff like "Nice to See You!" and "It's Been Too Long."  Normally, I would loathe this kind of thing, but I like the fonts and all.  The thing is, it's f'ing huge.  And then the directions say they want you to put backing on it, sew some dowels into it and make it a "Warm Welcome Banner!"  (The exclamation points are not my own.) To all of this I say, "Probably not."

It also says the estimated time to finish is THREE HUNDRED HOURS.  That sounds like much less of a craft project and more of a community service sentence.  

But we shall see...  I'll try to take a picture of the whole shebang to get your opinions.  And if I do decide to start on it, I'll do my best to make it the biggest "Stitch Along with Stump" ever! (exclamation point my own.)

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Stitch, Neely, Stitch...or... Valley of the Demanding Relatives

So, my cousin messaged me with a special request.  Normally, I would have just laughed derisively and told him to move on.  Because that's the kind of fella I am.  A real sweetheart. Unfortunately, I agreed to take on his little project because a) it was funny and b) he is family.  So what do you do?

You see his girlfriend found this pillow on a hideously overpriced but cool web page.  We shall call it MonathanMadler.com.  It is really cool, but almost $100.
Who am I to turned down a Valley of the Dolls reference?  No one, I say.

Oddly enough, it turns out my cousin's girlfriend had never seen Valley of the Dolls.  She just thought it was funny.

Anyhoo....I told him I could try out a version of it with what I had lying around the house.  Oh, and I don't do pillows.  However, I did have some old bathroom towels I bought on sale at JoAnn's about 2 years ago for an aborted Christmas project.  Would she like one of them instead.  His (lack of) excitement was palpable, but I decided to forge ahead anyways.  Especially since it wasn't going to really cost me anything.

I took these pictures with my phone, so not the best quality.  Just pretend you have been popping dolls...

I tried to make it look like the pill on the end was broken and spilling out into the other side,.  Just like on the old Contact cold medicine commercials.

Here is the whole shebang with the exciting pill border.  I wish I could have found a better font.  But I still like it.

And here it is from afar.  I do think it hilarious.  And a nice reminder on those days you just don't feel like heading to work....

Here is the trailer for the movie in case you are totally lost...

Forward to about 1:10 for the actual scene the towel references.

Oh well...hope she likes it.

PS  Just to show you how weird I erally am (like you need that), I once went to a Valley of the Dolls party in college.  I made a pill-shaped pink cake and wrote "Sparkle!" on it in icing.  Then I threw TicTacs all over it.  Huge success.  Just a tip for your next Patty Duke themed affair!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Let's Pretend I Didn't Just Disappear, Shall We

Hi Kids!

I know it has been awhile, but lets pretend you are all Pamela Ewing on Dallas: Original Recipe and I am Bobby.  I was just hanging out in the shower, organizing my floss (naked) waiting for you to wake up from your very deep sleep.

It was all a bad dream.  I am fine.  I am still stitching on occasion.

Just pipe the fuck down, already!

Here....let me show you something I made at Christmas to prove it is still me....

I made 10 of these to give out as Christmas cards.  I wanted to do something funny but not vulgar (a stretch as you all know,,, I nearly pulled a hamstring) and Christmas-y but not annoying.  And as anyone who has looked at a cross stitch book in the past few decades knows, that is pretty limiting.  No ducks in Santa hats, please.  No bears in scarves.  No fat baby angels. (what did all those kids die of anyways?  Creepy).  These were my rules.

So, I wound up with this idea.  And it is probably going over as well with you as it did for those who got them in real life.  "Well, Brent...this is a very nice....alphabet?  Why isn't there an "L?"

There's no L.

No L

Well, I thought it was funny at the time.

Merry Belated Christmas, pals.