Everyday Annoyances... 50% Off

So yesterday was a pretty good day for a Monday. Work went quickly. I had leftovers from a really good meal this weekend for dinner. I got rid of some chairs that I have hated for a few years now AND got those magazines I told you about earlier organized.

Not bad.

The capper was the Jo-Ann flyer I got in the mail. I realize how sad my life may seem to some of you. But really, I am glad that at my advanced age, something as simple as a Jo-Ann mailer can make me giddy.

Even better? FLOSS SALE! Three skeins for 99 cents! That is a whopping savings of four cents a skein! Plus, if you shop on Memorial Day, you get an additional 10% off your total bill. I can't do math, but I know that's a deal. The downside? There is a limit of 30 skeins per person. I believe that this rule was instated because of me. I have annoyed many a Jo-Ann's notions jockey with my over-purchasing of floss. Ha-ha notions jockey...I have some friends lined up to go with me on Memorial Day so I can get more floss. So there. Your rules mean nothing to me!

I also want to get one of these things...



Look how f-ing handy that mofo is. First, you can put 20 kinds of floss in it while you are working on something. Then you can write the floss number on it to keep track. And that black thing is a magnet to keep your needles on. Love it. It is a little steep at $11.95. Much more than what I would normally budget for such things, which is zero point zero zero dollars.

Amazingly enough, the Jo-Ann's mailer also includes a 40% off and a 50% off any regularly priced item purchased in store or on-line. A very nice deal, especially on Memorial Day.

So what is so annoying?

You know what is regularly priced on the Jo-Ann web page this month?

Nothing.

Not a thing. Everything is 5% off or 10% off. I have found exactly one thing I may be interested in that is regularly priced and it is $1.39. Not useful.

I will get you, Jo-Ann. Oh, I will get you. Me an my floss army!

The Things You Do for Your Friends...

When I first started doing this stuff, I bought a book for a quarter called "1,001 Cross Stitch Motifs." It was published in England in the Seventies. I really like using it a lot because it is just small things that you can throw together and make your own bigger pattern. The first time I used it was that vacuum cleaner one I showed off earlier.

The only real problem is that it is old enough that some of the floss colors are out of date. There is nothing more frustrating (well, there are a few more frustrating things in the scope of things. War. Poverty. Whatever.) than making your little shopping list of floss numbers, getting to the store, and then finding out that the number you need is no longer made or has changed numbers. It's just irritating. Then you don't remember what the color was or anything, so you just have to guess or make due. That is what happened with the first one I made....


This was made for a friend of mine who is letting my family stay with her when the are here for graduation this weekend. That is a huge undertaking, trust me. And she refuses to be paid for it. So, I decided to make this. She plays the cello and is a music teacher. So, I picked up my handy dandy "1,001 Cross Stitch Motifs," looked in the index and BAM...there's a cello.

The actual body of the cello is the wrong color. The original one called for "Mahogany." It no longer exists. So now it is a golden cello. Magical. The "S" is her first initial. After I took the picture, I decided it was a little plain, so I added some musical notes in the right hand corner. It looks pretty good and she seemed happy with it.

I have found that Downy Wrinkle Releaser works pretty well to get rid of the hoop marks.



Then I needed to make something for another friend's birthday. I knew I wanted it to have a knitting theme. Luckily, "1,001" has a whole page of knitting and sewing things. There is also a page devoted to keys. And one for stamps. And one for muffins. It's that encyclopedic.

I needed to make it a little edgier, though. Well, as edgy as cross stitching something about knitting could possibly be. (which is a "3" edgy-wise) I found a phrase on Crafter.com or someplace that seemed to suit...



I had purchased the red material when Jo-Ann's was having a big sale on it. I had no idea what I would use it for, though. The letters are just the basic ones from "Subversive Cross Stitch."

This was a quick one to do once the idea came together and I plotted out the design. A little over and hour and a half stitching time. The only hard part was working with the metallic thread for the needles. I hate using it, but it always looks sort of cool. Like fake beading or something.

I only wish I would have spaced it out better.

It was also easy to get it to look nice because the red material was pretty heavy, so it wrinkled less.

Its funny. I like it.

Mother's Day Whatnots

Hey all...back again.

I was trying to get things done for Mother's Day. I do have a feeling that my other and grandmother are pretty much just dreading getting their presents this year. Or they will be really happy. Who knows.

Usually, I try to make things that suit my sense of humor or have some sort of original bent. This time, I just went with the patterns in the book. They are both from the Better Homes and Gardens Big Book of Cross Stitch or some such title. I got it used for about a dollar. I have actually wound up using it much more than expected. I have gotten four items out of it so far, and am using one of the alphabets in the back for another one.

These two patterns were chosen because they match wallpaper. Seriously.

This is the first time I have made anything for my grandmother, and she can be a little..um..picky about things. The pattern matches her new kitchen wallpaper. I think.

It took forever because of all of the color changes. A lot of stopping and starting.

I took some pictures of it in progress earlier, and here it is done and framed...


It is way too nerdy for me, but there it is. I actually like the lettuce the best. Probably because it was a lot of effort. I also sort of like the material. It sort of looks like I made it on an old potato sack, which is kind of cool in a "Little House on the Prairie" farm woman kind of way.

And now for the one for my mother. I don' t like it near as much. I also decided on this one because it matches the color in her bathroom. She also had some sea horse guest soap in a dish last time I was there. It is entirely possible that someone just gave her the soap and she put it out to be nice. I don't recall her enjoying nautical themed stuff when I was a kid...but hey.

It was probably a really bad idea to chose a pattern based on something that will wind up disintegrating, as you are then just left with a framed thing apropos of nothing.

Anyways...here it is:


The material is actually a light blue which isn't showing up very well. I also really need to learn how to put stuff on those board things better and trim my strings better. Again, they don't show up in real life as much as they do in the picture.

Here is a better picture. I do like the frame, so maybe she can at least use that.

Nerd Alert

I just bought a lot of FIFTY "vintage" cross stitch magazines on Ebay for 99 cents.

Of course, shipping was about a billion dollars, but I have convinced myself that I got them for 99 cents.

What a nerd.

Interested to see if I get anything fun out of it.

Not even sure how old they are.

Only on Ebay can something from January 2010 be considered "vintage" in April 2010.

Stitch Along with Stump

So...my project this week is an actual serious one that involves no swearing. Rare, I know. I have a feeling it is going to take a longer time than usual to finish it, so I decided I would take some pictures of it as it progressed.

It is a Mother's Day present for my grandmother. I was looking at one of my big dumb pattern books (I think this is from "Reader's Digest Best American Patterns in Uniform" or something.), and I realized that this vegetable pattern pretty well matched the wallpaper my grandmother just put up in her kitchen. Trust me, if it wasn't for that there is no way I would be doing this project. There is a lot of switching out of colors and shading and whatnot. And cutesy vegetable stuff is just not how I roll.

Oh well...the things you will do for your grandmother.

Onions and eggplants done. Carrots well on their way.

More news as it happens.

You Suck

Finished this one up last week. Yet again, I'm not sure what I am going to do with it. Anyone want it? The "You Suck" is from Subversive Cross Stitch. The original pattern was just the words with some flowers and whatnot around it. I was just going to do it as printed, but then one of the pattern books I bought for about 50 cents had a page of "housewife" motifs. I saw the vacuum cleaner and knew I had to do something or other with it. Hence, this.

For some reason, the vacuum cleaner took me forever. I think it was all of the color changes required for the shading and whatnot.

I really like how 50s looking it is. Of course no 1950s pattern would actually say "You Suck" on it. That's what makes it cool. Right? RIGHT?

Oooooh, Flossy Flossy Now

The excellent thing about being a cross stitching nerd is that it is a relatively cheap. I mean when compared to putting ships in bottles, world travel and heroin, it is a pretty low-cost hobby. A roll of Aida material is usually around $3.99, and you can get four or so smaller projects out of that. I bought my first embroidery hoop for 50 cents, and it has served me well. Most of the pattern books and whatnot I have purchased have been from EBay or Amazon used book sellers. Not a major expense at all. There are also plenty of on-line, free patterns and pattern creators. Actually, the most expensive thing I have purchased because of this nerdy pursuit is a set of little bags and rings to hold my floss all together and neat. I think that stuff wound up costing me $6.00.

That brings me to what has been my downfall monetarily. The demon addiction to floss. I cannot quit buying it. It's not because I run out of it quickly or anything. One tiny skein of floss which is on sale right now at Michael's for 35 cents a piece can be unraveled and stretch to the moon and back it seems.

The actual problem is that, for some reason, I feel the need to have every GD color of floss available. I have no idea why. I guess I think there is going to be some kind of shortage. I am also a completist to a weird degree. When I was a kid, I needed to buy all of the Choose Your Own Adventure books. In order. I could not have #277 until I had #275 and #276. It was a sad state of OCD affairs. Now I am that way about stupid DMC floss. DMC-OCD. Look for me on A&E's Intervention soon.

The problem started when I went to Jo-Ann Fabric (which is where a lot of problems in this world start, trust me) and bought that damn expensive floss organizing system. It came with little stickers with all of the DMC color numbers on them. As I spent the hours (and I mean HOURS) of time wrangling my floss skeins into their little bags and then stickering them appropriately, I realized I was going to be left with a few hundred stickers because there was some floss I did not own. Unacceptable! Completely unacceptable!

Look at all the pretty colors, Mommy!
Click on the picture to make it bigger!

Here is my sad little plan. Stupid DMC floss (not that Anchor floss crap or that Prism floss bullshit. Only DMC thank you...it is French) is still on sale at Michael's for 35 cents a skein. I am going to take my little sheet of stickers and use it as a shopping list. Then I am going to need another one of those organizing notebooks. Then I will probably need some sort of storage for all of them. Then I will need a bigger apartment with a spare room for all my supplies.

It really is a nice, cheap hobby. I promise.

Tomorrow, I will show you my most recent finished project and then show you what I am working on now. I figured I will do a little Stitch Along with Stump series.

So lame.