Monday, June 14, 2010

Ohm My God

OK, so I read this phrase in an article making fun of Gwyneth Paltrow and her "GOOP" web page and thought it was funny. Personally, I think anything making fun of Gwyneth Paltrow is funny. She is one of those people I would enjoy seeing being attacked by a swarm of bees. Not killer bees or anything... just your average workaday bees that sting. Just picture her running around in terror, swatting at them and getting occasionally stung on her newborn fawn-esque legs as she runs to a nearby Italian lake for shelter.

I honestly didn't hate her all that much until I reader the introduction to "GOOP:"

"My life is good because I am not passive about it. I want to nourish what is real, and I want to do it without wasting time. I love to travel, to cook, to eat, to take care of my body and mind, to work hard. I love being a mother who has to overcome my bad qualities to be a good mother. I love being in spaces that are clean and feel nice."

And then from the distance..."Bzzzzzzzz."

I hope Gwyneth would find this clean and nice...

It was pretty quick work. On the AC Moore trip, I wound some cloth that was "marbled." I had no idea what to do with it until I saw "the phrase." The marble effect is pretty subtle, but it does add to the design. The font is from an online source. The border is from one of my usual "One Trillion and a Half Cross Stitch Motifs to Occupy Your Tiny Brain" books. It was supposed to be in about four colors, but I liked this color combination so much that I just kept it.

It seriously didn't take much time at all. I'm going to try to learn how to make pillows so that I can turn this into one, as it matches my couch.

I really need to learn how to "finish" a project. I mean the back of this thing is really awful....full of little knots and whatnot. Oh well, I am a cross-stitcher who needs to overcome his bad qualities to be a good cross-stitcher.



  1. I am so in love with you. If you're gay, I want to be your froot loop. If you're not, I will stitch you a wedding ring from every color of DMC floss and we will honeymoon at A.C Moore.

    Namaste, Bitches... I must stitch one of my own for my front door. Keep it up, stitchmaster!

  2. Sure, I'll marry ya. Best proposal I have had so far.

    The honeymoon sounds awesome. We could sleep on pillow forms and subsist on nothing but Wilton icing and amour....

  3. I love to see men embroidering. You freaking rock.

    BTW - to finish your threads, run the ends under stitches on the back of the fabric then snip the rest off. You can secure your starting tails by stitching over them on the back as you go. No knots needed.

  4. You are assuming he gives a rats ass ;) Keep up the stitching - I may start up again because of YOU!

  5. I just came across your blog and I love it!! I think we should be friends. ;o)

  6. Krista...thanks for the tip. I try and try to use that method, but for some reason my big fat boy fingers have made me less than nimble as far as that goes....

    Courtney. Of course we should be friends. You give your friends a lot cash, right?

    "Anonymous" - Stitch on, nutball