Thursday, June 24, 2010

Things I Wouldn't Understand. Things I Shouldn't Understand.

So as I said previously, I have been getting a lot of pattern books from Inter-Library loan. I am lucky enough to work in the library of a major university, but your local library will do you just as well. It can be a great resource. And remember, library funding is often based on usage, so use the shit out of them now so future generations can use the shit out of them as well. It's amazing how many really nifty patterns and ideas you can find in a cross stitch book from the Sixties or earlier.

It's the Seventies where things go a little awry, cross-stitch-wise. But then I guess everything was a little awry then. I mean, a friend of mine's parents had a car with an interior that looked like jeans and a living room carpet you had to rake instead of vacuum, so I guess this stuff just follows along with the "Just How Coked Up are You?" trend.

Take the pillows pictured above. They are from my dear friends at Ondorisha. And like a lot of their patterns, the more I look at them, the more I like them. The issue? The "Y," "M," and "K" are the letters pictured, and they are the only patterns in the book. If your name doesn't start with one of those letters, you are SOL. (which you cannot spell). They could have, at the very least, thrown in a vowel or something. Geeze.

This picture is from McCall's Big Book of Cross-Stitching. You know what McCall's readers apparently despise first thing in the morning? Cold eggs and uncoordinated breakfast tablescapes. I apologizing for using the word "tablescape." I know it is nonsense, but I spent the better part of yesterday finishing up a project while watching 6 or so TiVo's episodes of Semi-Homade (yes I dropped the "me" on purpose) with Sandra Lee. She needs help in more ways than I can go into here, but she would love the bejezus out of this farkakte stuff.

Let's face it that "egg cozy" (as it is called in the description) is keeping nothing warm. It is purely, badly decorative. And trust me, as soon as someone cracks that egg, it is going to spill all over the placemat that obviously took someone hours to make. Thank the Lord there is that matching napkin dispensatory right near by.

It's all just so KMY.

Totally KMY.


  1. Ok.....let's see....

    You Make Ketchup

    You Keep Monkeys

    Keep My YoYo

    My Kitchen Yummies... you see why I should not be allowed in public.

    Keep em say what most people want to say! LOLOL

  2. "Kinky?" she asks.

    "YES, MA'AM." is his reply.

    Accept NO substitute.

  3. Maybe it is subliminal evil. Like how the Son of Sam guy got messages from dogs to murder people.

    "Honest, officer, the decorative throw pillows kept chanting 'YOU MUST KILL...YOU MUST KILL...YOU MUST KILL!'"

  4. Oooooooooooo creepy! Do you think it could be true? (shudder) LOL I will stick with Skittish Pixie....something kinky...I think I vaguely remember what kinky means....(blink, blink)..Bwahahahahahahahaha