Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Suck It, Jo-Ann: A Memorial Day Update

Fascinating turn of events on Sunday.

Well, not so much fascinating as "Hey, that happened."

So my neighbor and I decided to make a day of shopping on Sunday. (Wait...it gets gayer) At first we were just going to head to the local Jo-Ann store and totally bust their little 30 skein limit on the DMC floss sale.

In actuality, I was dreading it. As I have mentioned previously, the cranky gals at Jo-Ann can get even more persnickety when you unload a few piles of floss on the counter. Each one has to be rung up separately, and that just eats into their notions dusting time. No good can come of that.

So, it was decided we would make the 45 minute trip to the next town over and hit their Jo-Ann. Mayhaps my Jo-Ann experiences would be different in another venue. Maybe the Altoona ladies would welcome me with open arms and not glare at me like some sort of string-loving child molester. Maybe the store would be brighter and not look like some sort of dimly-lit handicraft purgatory.

Turns out, it was all true! The Altoona Jo-Ann employee was very nice, helped me sort out my coupons, and most importantly did not bat an eyelash when I dumped my floss out on her workspace. In fact, she made no mention of the fat that I obviously had 40 skeins, ten over that pesky limit.

And then something happened that changed the day, if not my entire life, completely...

My neighbor suggested we head down to AC Moore (less that a 1/4 of a mile away) and see what was going on there.

I have never been to an A.C. Moore.

I grabbed a basket and headed for the clearly marked "stitchery" aisle.

It was like a movie, I swear. I turned the corner and there uit was. A huge sign over the floss display... "MEMORIAL DAY DOOR BUSTER ALL DMC FLOSS 5 FOR A DOLLAR."

I swear I heard birds chirping.

I loaded up as best I could. I had already bought everything on my list, and didn't have my checklist of what I have in storage, so I just started grabbing shit left and right. I stopped when I hit 80, not wanting to ruffle the feathers of a new chain. They also had Aida material on sale in a bigger variety of colors than I had seen before, so I stocked up there as well.

I sheepishly headed to the checkout counter, filled with equal amounts of delight and shame.

How would the counter gal react to my secret addiction?

As I always do, I apologized in advance and offered to go to another station if she was going on break or something. She looked at me like I was nuts, but not for the reason I thought. She then told me that the first customer she had that morning brought up two entire handbaskets filled to the brim with floss. In the end she purchased over 700 skeins. Seriously.

Now that, my friends, is just crazy.

And by the way, Jo-Ann..

Bite me.

I am A.C. Moore's bitch now.

Almost done with two new projects...pictures to come.


  1. It sounds like you are just beginning in your cross stitch adventures - welcome to the habit!

    I laugh about your floss "addiction". You should branch out and try other flosses. Silk floss is very habit forming but unless you have a local needlework shop, you will only find them on line. Try 123 Stitch.com - there are so many other things out there that you will never find at a Joann's or AC Moore's.

    Keep up the good work!!!

  2. Oh Brenda...dear sweet, Brenda.

    Is forcing me to shop for floss even more helping?



    So this silk floss, is it nice? Easy to work with? I tried to do something a few weeks ago with metallic floss and it drove me nuts. Had to give it up.

  3. Silk floss is much, much sweeter than metallics! Try www.hand-dyedfibers.com It's my favorite! I am part of their monthly club where they mail me about 15 variegated flosses each month. Dinky Dyes are my second favorite silks!

  4. I just found your blog. You are funnny shit, in a good way. I just got my "subversive cross stitch" book a couple weeks ago, not sure how I lived without it before. Just to enable a little also, silk floss is great. Its so soft and the colors are incredible. It just glides through the fabric, you cant imagine the feeling, beautiful silk floss, soft and all, gliding through your fabric as stitch the word bitch, its another world my friend, another world. If you would like to try some silk, let me know on your blog here and I'll send you some, its addicting. Love your blog, Kayona

  5. Dear Lori and Kayona-

    Pushers. Both of you.


    Lori, I have to say that the fact that you belong to some sort of nutburger Floss of the Month Club makes you my current favorite person ever.

    I will now probably wind up buying some silk floss.

    The financial downfall that will probably occur because of this is on your heads.



  6. Ohhhhhhhh silk floss is just YUMMMMY!

    Just be aware that silk floss can catch on rough skin and callouses.

    Ohh..thread heaven..get yourself some of that! It really helps with metallic flosses and cuts down on floss knotting while stitching with cotton. It comes in a little blue container. :)

  7. What is this Thread Heaven you speak of?

    Is this some new waste of money I can enjoy?